I wanna passion pit in your ass
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
