Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
