You can't special order awesome
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
