that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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