i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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