if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize