when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
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