I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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