I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just found puke in my bra..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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