How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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