end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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