shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's official drugs can't kill me
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If I die, sorry about rent.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
