New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
