Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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