i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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