So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
