You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
