Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
soo... how was my night?
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