did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
