You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
