he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We had to coat check the pizza.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
