I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
