Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Drunk is not a location!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
