I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
