did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
