Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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