Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
