i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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