You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
