her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
