The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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