Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
