She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Randomize
