Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize