you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
