Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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