I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
