So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
