it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
