When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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