is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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