I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
