Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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