so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
