Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
