Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
