She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
