You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
