Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize