But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
