There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize