for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
