I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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