woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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