so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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