I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
