it was like his penis was on wheels.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
