i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
