I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
