we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize