I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
