Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize