Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
