the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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