once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
