So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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