I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
