Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
