I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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