all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
