Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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