absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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