So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
