You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
