I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
