Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
