He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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